Caveat Emptor

I'm not usually inclined to talk about religion. I feel like I have a "don't ask don't tell" policy toward the whole issue. However, a new church is opening up near my workplace, and the pastor and his parish have been coming in daily, filling up the dining room. It's not bad, exactly, but there are a few niggling issues for me. The women are very few, all mothers, all very soft-spoken.  The men all sit together, with the male children, the women and girls in a different area. I realize this is a very common practice, I'm not admonishing it, I'm just kind of wary of it. The pastor is a friendly enough man, as are all the others, but they are also constantly handing me flyers for their church, despite me saying, ah, I've gotten three of these already..

I've had an intense relationship with the institute that started when I was seven, terrified of punishment, filled with the idea of being noble and otherworldly, and intensified after my foray into the military, which left me miserable, addicted to food, razor blades, painkillers, and alcohol. Once I was clean, I started to think more about my life and what it meant, and I left religion behind, feeling duped and belligerent. I'm older now, properly medicated and not so indignant.

Why is it okay for these people to give me religious materials at my place of work? I don't want the flyer; I don't believe in their God, and I have no intention of going to their place of worship. Why can't I say, I'm sorry, I'm an atheist, but good luck on growing your church? It bothers me that because I'm at work, I'm made to interact in a "friendly, pleasant way" which apparently means accepting this paper. I don't touch it anymore, but they leave it on the counter and I wait until they're gone to throw it away.

Religion, in and of itself, is neither good nor bad. It just is. It's a framework - you use it to grow. I can't harbor resentment for people who go to church, acknowledge their shortcomings, and actively try to change themselves. How could I? That's what life is about. Is it for everyone? Of course not. Nothing is for everyone. Why then, would someone try so hard to make me join them? Are they worried about my eternal soul?  I'm not worried about it. I'm just doing the best I can do, and if there is big dude in the sky that judges my actions, well, it is what it is. I've loved deeply, felt lost, been crushed and did my fair share of hurting others. I'm a human being. Every day I try to be a little bit better. I take the air and the food and the love. I accept responsibility for myself, for my actions, for the things that happen because of what I did or didn't do. I'm as-is, no refunds, no take-backs and I accept that.

If that's not enough, then I guess it's a good thing I got dunked in some water earlier in my life.